#69 Conflict Management
The following is information gleamed from a class on Conflict Management at Southern Connecticut State University. It was one of the most useful classes I have ever taken.
When you are in a conflict with someone you don't see eye to eye. Perhaps another's opinion is vastly different from yours, and this difference of perspective could ruin friendships if left untreated. What do you do? Follow the steps I have listed for Conflict Management, and I guarantee your problem will be solved at least 95 percent of the time.
1. When conflicts arise, confront the other person first. Say, " I've noticed you've been quiet lately. Is something wrong?" Then just stop.Let the other person talk, and talk, and talk. You are allowed to say the following two things, and that's all: "and", AND "what Else?" Say that whenever your friend pauses. Keep saying that whenever your friend pauses. Keep saying that until the other person is completely talked out. Keep in mind no one can listen to you when their mind and heart are cluttered with negative thoughts Let them go first until all their feelings are said.
2. Your Turn to Talk. Repeat back everything you have heard. Say," If I have heard you correctly, you have stated, (repeat back everything you have heard). Include how you contributed to the problem because whether you realize it or not, you have.
3. Say you are sorry. Ask how you can help. Problem solve together. Ask if you can get together in two or three days to see how things are progressing.